This One Comes With a Disclaimer

Disclaimer: This entry is a little personal. You don't have to read beyond this point. I have made several attempts to write in a journal consistently throughout my life - failing miserably at all of them. But, when I started blogging I realized this was my journal. So, when we had this experience at our house I decided that I needed to write it down for future generations and it might help me in the process. This is my journal and so it must go here. Sorry. Just letting you know ahead of time. Oh, and it is LONG!

A couple of weeks ago, October 5, we went to bed as we normally do. I was looking forward to the last two sessions of General Conference the next day. The wind blew terribly during the night and had kept Trent and me awake for a couple of hours as we wandered the house determining from where the banging sound was coming. A tree branch was hitting the roof - it would need to be cut out the next day. Then we went back to sleep. At about 5:30 a.m. Trent made a loud, unusual sound. I reached over to check on him and called his name but didn't get a response. His body was very rigid. I jumped out of bed, closed the door to avoid waking the kids, and turned on the light. Trent was blue and gasping for air. He wasn't breathing at all and he had the most panicked look on his face - like "HELP ME!" He wasn't responding and then his eyes rolled up into his head and he began to turn purple. I quietly and quickly said a prayer asking for help in what to do. I felt extremely calm and very clear headed - unlike another time we had to call 911 and I couldn't remember that number. I called 911 and at the same time realized that I needed to start CPR or some form of air exchange for him. His jaw was clenched so tightly that I couldn't get it opened to clear an airway. I felt impressed to roll him on his side and pound him on his back. (Perhaps I pounded a little too hard because his back and ribs are still very sore. Oops!!) After what seemed like an eternity later, he began to breathe - although it didn't look like breathing or sound like breathing. But, air was going in and coming out and color was beginning to SLOWLY return. He was still not conscious. My first thoughts were that he had suffered a heart attack or a stroke.

During that time, and after the 911 call, I called my brother-in-law Tom to come over. Thank goodness they have moved close. He arrived within 5 minutes and asked me to get someone else to administer a priesthood blessing to Trent. I called our dear friend Brandon Creer. McKenna had heard the noise Trent made and had run to get Collin. Collin got the girls together and they began praying for Trent. It is one of the most tender thoughts I have. They were gathered in the twins' room, kneeling, crying, and praying that their dad would be okay. Collin manned the front door and kept his sisters as calm and comforted as he could.

I don't remember everything in the correct order anymore. I know that the first EMT responder arrived after Tom, and then Brandon came. Those two priesthood holders gave him a blessing and immediately his breathing seemed to ease into a fairly normal pattern. I am so grateful for them. I know God hears our prayers and blesses our lives through the priesthood. Soon, lots of people started coming. I don't remember now, even, how many people were there, but more first responders came and deputies from the Sheriff's office. Our bedroom was full. That may be why, when Trent started to come to, and his body was still not working correctly, he freaked out. He became very agitated and feisty and EXTREMELY strong. His speaking wasn't clear but we thought he was yelling for help. We, as in many, were trying to hold him down on the bed because we weren't sure what he would do if he got up. At some point I left the room and found the kids huddled with Cruiser, the dog, in Collin's room - as far from the sounds as they could get. I promised them that all would be okay and just to stay together. They did all day. When it comes right down to it, those four fantastic kids really do love each other and will take care of each other when they need to - despite the teasing and fighting we experience on a daily basis.

Trent eventually calmed down and was sitting on the edge of the bed when I got back to the bedroom. The ambulance had arrived. I think it took about 20 - 30 minutes for it to get to our house. We live in town but there is only a volunteer service and the two drivers were in Teton, about 10 miles away, that night. They both had to come into St. Anthony to get the ambulance. I also think they got a wee bit lost. But, nevertheless, they arrived and were here to take Trent to the hospital in Rexburg. By the time they were ready to load him, Trent seemed conscious and fully aware of what was happening. Later I would learn that he doesn't remember any of it - that is good. I DO!!!

At the Emergency Room the doctor checked him out thoroughly. Trent's blood pressure, heart rate, EKG, and blood work were all normal. That was a relief. It hadn't been a stroke or a heart attack. He spent a couple days being observed and running more tests including an EEG in Idaho Falls. He hated being there. There was a song in the 80s that said something about "57 channels and nothing's on." He found that to be true. We came home Monday evening with no answers as to why this had happened. On Wednesday the results of the EEG showed that it was probably not seizure related and that was also a big relief.

The thought now is that it is most likely associated with sleep apnea. Trent is scheduled for a sleep study on the 20th. I hope we get some answers then. I haven't slept since it happened. At first, every time I closed my eyes I saw the whole event replayed in my mind over and over like a movie I couldn't turn off. Then I wouldn't allow myself to fall asleep because I wouldn't hear him breathe or not breathe. Every time Trent, the poor guy, would move or jump or snore I was right there to poke him and ask if he was okay. I began dozing at times and would get so frustrated with myself for not being alert. Time does help heal heartache and wounds and fears. So, the last few days, I have dozed and slept until about 2:00. Even then I would begin to panic and then not get back to sleep. About 5:00 I'd begin panicking again, probably because that's about the time it happened. It really seems silly as I write about it but I have never been so scared. Trent keeps telling me not to worry and that it is really out of my control, which it is. Last night, I finally slept really well - until 2:00. But, I didn't panic and I went back to sleep after checking on him. Then I woke up again at 5:00. I listened again and went right back to sleep. My prayers again are being answered. I'm so grateful and the people around me should be, too. ha ha

I am also grateful for all the people who helped us. My parents were right there at the hospital. (Sorry I didn't call you but I was pretty occupied and not thinking clearly.) Trent's brother, Kendall, and sister ,Tracie, waited at the hospital the whole time we were in the ER without me knowing. They were brought in as he was being taken to his hospital "suite." Trent's parents came and spent the night and next day with the kids, keeping them occupied and happy. Then there are all the people who prayed for him and called and brought food. We are surrounded by so much love and support. What a blessing!

We are given experiences in life that help us grow, though we don't always like them. I have learned a great deal during this time. My testimony of prayer and the priesthood have been strengthened, again. I guess it has also given me strength for the next crisis that may or may not occur. I like the not option there. And, it is also good to be reminded of the tender mercies in our lives - like clear thoughts and family.

What Am I Passing On?

Lately, being canning season, I've been thinking about all the valuable skills my mom taught me as a kid - things I needed and I use today. It got me thinking, "What skills am I teaching my girls?" I think they are more involved in life and activities than I was and they don't seem to have the time to sit at my feet ogling over my impressive talents. (Just kidding. There are very few talents, and most are not impressive.) But, I have begun to worry about this. I've totally neglected my motherly responsibilities.

Collin helped me make bread this week (he turned the KitchenAid on and "kneaded" the bread until it was smooth as silk) and it was really fun. The girls are really good at making brownies, Kraft Mac n' Cheese, and Ramen. But, seriously, could you feed a family on that? You could but it isn't recommended, I'm sure.

So, I've decided to make a conscious effort to get the girls involved in "homemaking" duties during this harvest vacation. The challenge: MAKE IT FUN! We have had fun. We've cleaned the garage, harvested the veggies out of the garden, cooked lots of things, and to top off all that fun we made blankets together. Whewww! The girls' families will not be cold.















The girls did a great job choosing material. The blankets totally match their personalities. They are changing so fast and the things they like are becoming so much more mature and less little girly. Darn. I miss those little girls. But, I sure adore these pre-teens.















Here is Katy knotting all the strips together. She worked so fast and so hard. Moose the Cat was an absolute pain. He kept attacking the cloth and annoying poor Katy. We locked him in their bedroom. I'm sure he rolled on the bed, leaving little black hairs everywhere, just to bug her.















Adri is very meticulous and liked her knots to be perfect. She asked me to go over them to make sure they were perfect. She worked hard, too.















And, then, ta-da, they were finished. McKenna's Beehive class had made her blanket last month. (Each month her Beehive class makes a blanket for a beehive.) What a great afternoon! It was so worth the time - mine and theirs.

Glad I Didn't Miss It

This week I ran into a bit of a controversial situation - in my own head. I had to choose whether to go to McKenna's District Volleyball Championship or to the Literature Conference at BYU-I. I had registered for the conference several weeks ago without connecting that the two events fell upon the same day. (I hate putting myself into these kinds of spots but will continue to do so until I start using a planner or some sort of organizational device.) I decided to attend the conference rationalizing that I had seen McKenna's team play several times. They are fun to watch and they usually win. But, they were tied for 1st place in the district with two other teams and as luck (or non-Cougar loving organizers) would have it, our girls were put into the most awful bracket in the championship. It would most likely take some "divine intervention" for them to make it to the final game. So, going to the conference seemed like the logical thing to do.

Trent kept me posted through text messages and I silently cheered and celebrated as our girls moved up through the brackets and then was sure that the right choice had been made when they moved into the loser's bracket. I eagerly waited for the text that said the girls were out and then I would be able to breathe a sigh of relief and all guilt, from missing the games, would be swept away. But, what was unthinkable was the text that said the girls were headed to the championship game. They had beaten Salmon, lost to Shelley, beaten Teton, beaten Shelley, and now would be facing the dreaded Diggers of Sugar for the championship.

As I sat down in my seat for the final session of the conference, my dear friend leaned over and said, "Do you really want to miss the game?" I had come with her and knew that my leaving was going to force her to leave too. One more nudge from her and we were out the door and on our way to the game. I'm so glad I listened to her and she was willing to leave with me. I would never have forgiven myself for missing it.

McKenna is normally a front row player and doesn't serve often but her back row mate had gotten injured and so McKenna was doing the serving too. She had served 19 points in a row to help beat Salmon and was on a roll. But, what was most impressive was how these girls came together and played as a team - something that didn't always happen in the regular season. They beat Sugar in the tie breaker, which just happened to be Sugar's first loss. On to another game. Our girls had played, at his point, 13 straight games without a bye or a rest. Sugar had played 7. Our girls were so exhausted. They fought for every single point. Thank goodness for adrenaline! But, 3 games later our girls were victorious.

I wish I could express the joy I felt for them and the joy they were showing. It wasn't just a win but it was a win over Sugar which always is more sweet. What I can express is the happiness I felt to be there as my daughter played her heart out, fought through the fatigue, and truly was a member of a victorious and beautiful championship team. I'm so glad I didn't miss it!

Communication

We definitely live in a time when people communicate much differently than they did when I was young. And when I was young people were complaining about how no one was communicating anymore - the telephone had ruined everything. I was walking with my friends, this summer, when we had this conversation and I've been contemplating it ever since. Do we really communicate less or is it just different?

For instance, I rarely talk to people -- outside work and family -- face to face. I'm not stuck-up or anything, just uncomfortable. I always greet people with a friendly smile or a quick hello but don't go into full communication mode at the grocery store very often. My grandparents' generation would meet on a neighbor's porch and talk for hours. That kind of freaks me out. But, give me a telephone and close friend or my mother-in-law on the other end, then I'll chat for hours.

That type of conversation only happens with people I'm close to. But, a new handy dandy conversation piece was introduced to me last winter. It's name is Facebook. Through Facebook I have made contact with people I haven't seen or heard from in over 20 years. Then, through instant chat, I have a full-fledged conversation with them. I've chatted with a "renewed" friend for 90 minutes before. I would never have done that face to face. I've even chatted with six friends at the same time before. We would never have been in the same place to do that personally or over the phone. These friends live in New York City, Seattle, and everywhere in between. It is way awesome. I "talk" with people using this form of communication everyday - people that I will never see or telephone.

Last night, my daughter who isn't into expressing her inner most feeling EVER, got onto Facebook while I was on Facebook. We had a good lengthy chat about boys. It was really fun. Though I would like her to, she would not have told me these things face to face. But, that little instant chat has opened a window for us and may even open a door to her actually looking me in the eye and talking.

So, I think I've reached a decision. I communicate more now than I did before, it's just different. And, I think it is good.

Simple Pleasures

Here is my list of simple pleasures. I've named it that because the list consists of things that don't take a lot of effort but bring me a lot of joy. Today I was thinking about these happy things while hanging out with the kids and a cousin.

Simple Pleasure #1 Fun Family - especially cousins this week. We've had so much fun with Kendrick here. My kids have tried to show him the "redneck" lifestyle. I didn't think we were rednecks. Kendrick probably does. We love to be with our cousins - even if it means huckleberrying in the woods!

Simple Pleasure #2 Gardens that Grow. This growing season we have really had the produce. I've never thought too highly of my green thumb (outside raspberries) or horse manure but combine them together and it is beautiful!

Simple Pleasure #3 Glorious Giggles. I used to think the sound of babies giggling was music to my ears. But, my favorite sound in the world is the hysterical laughing of my now older children when they are truly having fun.

Simple Pleasure #4 Super Summer Vacation. I'm so grateful that I changed my major from accounting to education so that I could have the summers to spend with my children. We have so much fun. I always plan to clean the house and catch up on all the things I pushed aside during the school year but it never happens. We like to play too much.

Simple Pleasure #5 Small Towns. I love walking down the road and waving to the people I know or waving at the people I don't know. I love talking to people at the grocery store everytime I go. I love sending my kids out for walks with the dog and not worrying about their safety. And I love that people are always watching out for my kids while they are out and about.

Simple Pleasure #6 Rivers. I'm not sure that I even knew that there were rivers around me growing up. How did I miss all this fun? What were my parents thinking? I love the sounds, the look, and the feel of the river. I don't like the taste.

Just a small list but hey, my thoughts are pretty small.

Summer Vacation Time

Sometime during the early spring, the Grant family set out to plan a reunion trip to the Oregon Coast. We have looked forward to it since the moment it was finalized. So, on Saturday, July 18, we began the LONG car ride to Oceanside, Oregon. We had never been there and had no idea what to expect. We had explained to the kids that the water would be cold and the temperatures would be mildly warm at best. No one seemed to care - WE WERE GOING TO THE BEACH!



The drive was so much fun. Once you get out of Idaho (which was 108 degrees) and past the ugly (couldn't think of a better word to describe it) landscape of eastern Oregon the view is gorgeous. We had a great time in The Gorge. The Columbia River is beautiful and wide and big. I have found something I'd like to try - wind surfing. We saw hundreds of surfers on the river. When I'm bored with kayaking I'll try that. We stopped at Multnomah Falls and Bonneville Dam. That was it, though. We wanted to get to the BEACH! And we did with plenty of time to walk -with our jackets on - in the gale force winds. We may have needed our winter coats. And, why did we take up room with our swimming suits? BURR! By late evening everyone arrived and had settled into the awesome beach house which would be our home for the next week.



The next morning, 5:30 to be exact, we went out to look at tide pools. Katy and Trent stayed behind sleeping. Once we had arrived at the pools I wished I had dragged them out. Starfish, anemone, sea stars, shells, mussels, barnacles and rocks were everywhere. We, of course, touched them all. SPECTACULAR!!! We found a hole in the rocks to climb through that would lead us to more beaches and more beauty. We decided to do that the next day.



During the day we went to the Tillamook Cheese Factory. Tillamook cheese is cheaper here in Broulim's than there, by the way. You can't believe how much cheese is going through there every day. After several trips through the sample line and ice cream cones, we were off to Cape Mears. The fog was too dense to see anything, but we can say we've climbed a lighthouse now. Sometimes you can see whales out in the ocean from there. We saw fog. A short walk took us to the Octopus Tree. Pretty funky. Then we were off to the "secret beach" which isn't that big of a secret because there is a stairway from a little parking area that goes down to the beach. I think a lot of people go there.



Later it was sandcastle building time. Check out the jackets. I gave up and left because it was freezing. The cold didn't seem to dampen the spirits of these castle makers. Aunt Susan was the expert - she had read all about it in a book. They stayed out forever.



Since watching the movie "Kindergarten Cop" I have wanted to visit Astoria. We weren't too far away and I wasn't about to pass up the chance. It is soooo cute. Trent and I had planned to go (it was our 20th anniversary) and decided to invite anyone along. Grandpa, Collin, McKenna, and Adri tagged along. Katy wanted to stay behind with the cousins. A friend of mine, who lives in Astoria, had emailed me and told me to visit the Columbia River Maritime Museum. It sounded interesting and so we went. We loved it. So glad I didn't skip that suggestion. Across the street from the museum is a boat on a trailer. It is home to the best fish and chips I have ever eaten. Two women make it in this squishy kitchen. The fish is fresh tuna. Doesn't taste at all like canned tuna and is pretty mild. That was a fun memory. I wanted to visit Fort Clatsop, the winter quarters of Lewis and Clark. Grandpa was pretty tired and so we drove through the parking lot. That is my only regret of the whole vacation.

Clamming. Done it. Remember it. Don't need to do it again. Gross. Yucky. Stinky. Sick. Ugly. Those are words to describe this adventure. But, the boys, Carly, and Kenna loved it. We went to Netarts Bay which smells of sewage ponds when the tide is out. The sand is black and slimy from the decaying "stuff" that lies at the bottom of the bay. That is really a pleasant description of it. Then, Kenna and Tanner cleaned them all - 87. Did they taste better than other clams? Nope. I'll take the clam strips at Skippers anyday. The crab that was caught tasted pretty good. The next morning, Kendall's family and McKenna headed out to do it again.

Collin received a skim board for his birthday. The beach was the perfect place to practice. He started getting the hang of it. After a few pointers by the "pros" he was even better. Perhaps we need to go back so he can practice. I think that's a good idea.

The Oregon Coast Aquarium in Newport was quite interesting. We found two very unusual crabs in the gift shop. lol. Grandma spent most of her time looking at the jellyfish. We enjoyed the sea lion demonstration and the cute otters. The otters gave us some great tips for cleaning clams.

Trent and I spent the day with the girl cousins - all four of them. A detour to Yaquina Head found the stinkiest birds ever. But, best of all, we found seals just hanging out and relaxing on the rocks inside a cove. They were delightful to watch. What a great life they have! Ahh to be a seal. After seal watching we went outlet shopping. Poor Trent waited at the car forever. We were gone a long time. He is so patient.

A big family hike turned out to be three people. Trent, Mom, and I hiked to Lookout Point. It was 4.8 miles of gorgeous greenery and beautiful blue water. I don't think I have ever seen anything so pleasing. We could see forever. We reached the point just in time; as we were heading back the fog rolled in and covered the point. Not much of a view after that.

A final pirate treasure hunt ended the fun at the beach. Clues were hidden under rocks, in drift wood, in the tunnel and sand. The treasure: more junk food and crazy glasses. FUN TIMES!

One week after arriving we headed home. I have talked to several friends who are amazed that all 18 of us could live together in one house for one week and still be friends. We are. We loved it. We had fun. Was it all we had imagined? Yes. It was that and more. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa. We will treasure these memories forever.

Time Together

The rain has finally stopped. It rained nearly every day in June and so we couldn't go kayaking too often. But, yesterday, despite it being a little chilly we all went. Sherri Creer is my kayaking buddy and she is always ready. Adrienne hasn't enjoyed kayaking very much and so this was her first time this year. It took some convincing to get her to come but once she got on the water she was hooked.



Chester Dam is a whimpy run but it is very relaxing and easy for beginners. That's where we like to take our new "victims."

When we started out it was just a bit cloudy but after awhile the weather grew warmer and warmer and it was absolutely perfect.

My favorite part was being with the girls. We wished Collin could have come but we couldn't convince him that being with all that estrogen was going to be fun. They giggled and smiled the whole way down. Katy and McKenna tried to do the "Pocahontas" most of the way. They have great balance.

When we go kayaking it is always with someone else. I think that is why I love it so much. Whether you're with a newbie, an old buddy, or family, kayaking builds good memories.